What the "How?"

When my daughter, Abigail, was little we used to watch a show called "Wipe Out!"  If you've ever seen the show you know that it's a comedic game show where adults race through a ridiculously over sized obstacle course in order to compete for a cash prize.  It's quality family entertainment as you observe grown adults stumble through a freakishly impossible obstacle course, with a series of less than graceful "wipe outs" to the finish line in hopes of winning the prize. One evening while watching it, a lady slipped and fell off the mud covered path and into a pool of water.  As we witnessed this epic fail, the lady yelled the words "What the H--- (word that rhymes with spell)!"  Abi cracked up laughing, she slapped her leg and repeated what she thought she heard, "What the HOW!"  Zach and I quickly questioned her, "What did you say Abi?"  She said, "What the HOW!  Dat's funny mommy, What the HOW! Dat doesn't evening make sense!"  We giggled along with her and then explained that even though it doesn't make sense we shouldn't repeat words like that because sometimes people can use those kinds of words to hurt other people.  Perhaps we dodged a bullet that night with our then 3 year old daughter.

I've often found myself asking God the same question when I do not understand "HOW" things will work out.  I'm like "What the...how?"  When I demand to know the how, I can get lost in the details.  I begin to reason and think my way through situations and question the greater calling on my life.  After hearing no from man, I begin to think that God's answer is the same.  I can see where this thinking can only lead to bitterness and resentment.  I know that God has a higher calling on my life than my current situation reveals yet I want to know "HOW" and when the answer isn't clear, I wonder if I've missed something.  How will God use me?  How will God fulfill His plan for my life?  How do I find fulfillment in who He's designed me to be?  Perhaps you're like me, where you know that there is a greater calling on your life than you are currently seeing.  

Before I went back to school for my Bachelors Degree in Sociology, I knew that I had a desire for more than what I could currently see.  When I'd close my eyes, I could see myself successfully completing my degree.  God gave me a vision for my future and although it was merely a snapshot, I knew I could get there through the grace of God.  A few semesters into my degree, I failed my first exam, I began questioning God. I wanted to know two things:  What the H---?  And what the...HOW?  I felt like he'd given me a very specific dream and at the moment I felt incapable of achieving that dream.  I knew that there were things in my life beyond my control at work which is what made my dependence on God even more evident.  What I was really asking was WHY (in the past), and HOW (in the future)?  Needless to say I passed the class, and in a month, I will achieve this lifelong dream!  It's been a long time coming and I went the non-traditional route where often times it's felt more like a burden than a blessing.  I've missed class to care for a sick child.  I stayed up till all hours of the night to turn in assignments on time.  I've taken tests in between diaper changes and nap times.  I've cooked dinner while cramming for tests, and helping with homework.  I've moved across town and moved overseas while submitting assignments in airports and over unpacked boxes.  So that... when my children are older, the question will not be a matter of "If" but "WHEN" they go to college. 

Do dreams come true?  Yes.  For me? Yes.  For you?  Yes, to all who put their hope in Christ.  Philippians 1:6 "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." If He spoke it, so be it.  If He breathed it, so live it.  If He promised it, it'll happen.  Stop asking why because you're living in the past, and how because you're living in the future and start living in the now.  You'll never know the HOW if you can't live in the NOW!   

Good enough

Have you ever wandered through life wondering if what you're doing and how you're being assessed by the world around you is "good enough."  Is the report card passing?  Are you in the clear with your bank account?  Do you have enough supplies to complete the job?  So many questions floating in your head, yet the bottom line is you wonder if JUST being you, is enough.

I've been fascinated with this word lately.  JUST.  It's a very interesting adverb that has so many meanings in the English language.  Many times we can use this word as a bullet to hurt others.  I cannot count the amount of times when I've heard, "oh so you're JUST a stay at home mom."  Really?  Really.  I've worked corporate jobs and have traveled the world, but one of the most difficult things I've ever done was be a stay at home mom.  Becoming a mommy was one of the proudest and most vulnerable things I've ever done.  Like many moms I can still remember the moment I looked into my child's face and immediately fell in love.  No matter how prepared you are leading up to that moment, you are never entirely prepared for how drastically and suddenly your life will change.  I've been thinking a lot about how this happens, as you read through the books and try to figure out "what to expect when you're expecting" you realize that some of the things you experience in those first few moments are not at all like anything you could ever expect or imagine.

The nature of watching your child grow is a process that happens so gradually yet it can take you by surprise to see them take their first step, sprout their first tooth, speak their first word, march off to school for the first time, loose their first tooth, or experience their first heartbreak.  All of these things are a part of growing up, as mundane as they may become with repetition, they are all part of the process.  Some days I can look at my kids and notice something different about them, like their hair has grown or their pants are suddenly too tight.  I can look at the same child through pictures and see the various stages from infancy to toddler, to school kid.  But when I am looking at them everyday, it is harder to notice that they are changing.

I think the same is true in our walk with God, we can look at snapshots of our lives and see that we are not the same person we once were.  We can see practically how we've grown over time through the various stages and phases of life.  Sometimes it is hard to see ourselves changing everyday, or getting stronger by reading our word and praying.  We cannot see the spiritual muscles being formed by the mundane tasks we complete in an effort to be obedient.  All we see in the moment is the process of the JUST.  Every once in a while we are enlightened by the highlight of "firsts."  Accepting Christ, being baptized, the word coming alive as we read it, the faith built through prayers answered, or the joy of leading others to Christ.  But most days we are JUST growing gradually.  We are JUST being obedient.  We are JUST reading our daily devotions.  We are JUST praying as a spiritual practice and maybe not a completely heartfelt submission.  We fail to celebrate the JUST.  By downplaying these spiritual disciplines, we discount the work that's being done, the progress that's being made and the growth that's happening on a daily basis.  Instead of classifying the JUST as plain, we should be celebrating the JUST things of the world.  After all, God uses the foolish things of the world to confound the wise.  So JUST being you, is good enough! 

Lost

Have you ever felt lost?  Like uncertain of where you are going and what you're doing in life?  Perhaps you've been lost literally.  There's a store in Hawaii, Don Quijote, it's kind of like the "Japanese Walmart."  It has everything you could ever need.  It's a one-stop Asian mart, complete with bilingual signage and pricing.  The color scheme is a bright yellow and red.  It's kind of hard to miss.

Upon moving to Hawaii, I've experienced a bit of a pricing culture shock.  It took me a few Sunday papers to get acclimated to the idea of spending $5.99 on a gallon of milk (sale price).  Sure, Colorado is the land flowing with milk and honey, okay just milk.  By milk, I mean Greeley is literally surrounded by cows.  Great for the economy, maybe not so much for the aroma.  So, a gallon of milk on sale is $1.97.  As you can imagine, this did't settle well with my pocketbook nor my frugal ways.  So, my first trip to Don Quijote, wasn't exactly a bright and liberating experience.  The only thing bright about this experience was the sign.  After walking through the souvenir department and bypassing a commercial for a rice cooker in Japanese with English subtitles, I felt lost.  I felt like I'd made a mistake by going there in the first place.  As I scrambled to get through my shopping list, I couldn't help but think, what am I doing here.  I should stick to stores I know. I felt the enemy whisper malicious lies into my ear and like an echo, I verbalized them internally. Things like, I don't belong, and I should go back where I came from.

The week prior to this trip, Abi asked to take spam musubi to school for lunch.  She'd been taking sandwiches and lunchables but noticed that all the other kids had musubi.  She came home expressing an interest in taking musubi for her lunch like many of the other children.  I didn't want to discourage her, so we put spam musubi on the list.  So, here we are in the seaweed isle, looking at an array of dried seaweed packages in Japanese.  I felt lost.  Apparently, my feelings were conveyed through the look on my face and my body language because a very kind older Asian woman, asked me if I was in fact lost.  She said, "You look like you could use some help."  Really, I thought, 'it's that obvious huh?'  She went on to explain that it'd been years since she made musubi for her children but her grandchildren loved it. As she pointed me to the right package, I thought, 'it's just like God to send help especially when we're not expecting it.'  After I thanked her, I completed my trip and scurried over to the checkout.

Although this experience made me feel lost at first, I was reminded that even if I do not know the way, God is leading, guiding and directing my steps.  He has sent people along the path to encourage, help and befriend me.  I have to fight past the feelings and insecurities to walk in his freedom.  The same is true for us all, because God doesn't show favoritism. We know that He doesn't always show us a clear cut path or make situations comfortable for us, but He will place people in our path for a purpose.  Many times, we cannot understand the reasons why until the moment has passed.  Sometimes, it's to encourage us, sometimes it's to help us, sometimes it's to provide comfort, sometimes it's to correct us, sometimes it's to teach us, but the underlined reason is because God loves us.  Take time today to notice how God is watching out for you.  You may feel lost, but His overwhelming grace will help you find the way.  You may feel uncertain of what the future holds, but when you look to Him, you will find the peace that surpasses understanding.     

Your steps are ordered

In the words of Chicken Little, "It's a new day!"  Well, it's a new year anyway.  I'm anxiously awaiting to see what God has in store for us this year.  I am not one for resolutions, although losing the "freshmen fifteen" would be nice!  Change always brings on reflection.  As a season passes you are able to see things from a very unique perspective, it's called the other side.  

Approaching a new season, you experience fear, uncertainty, and lots of questioning.  You wonder and ponder.  In the middle of the season, you cannot always see how far you've come nor how far you have to go.  It can often feel stormy and blurry.  It is easy to get lost, to feel lost and to want to be lost in the middle of a season.  At the end of a season, you can see it, the purpose behind it.  All the fog suddenly withers away and you are able to see it as it is in all it's glory.  You can usually understand why your steps were ordered that way.  You can usually see with clarity the intent behind the pain.  The purpose behind the drive.  The perseverance of your hard work has paid off for a brief second in time as it all comes into focus.  

As many of you know, we have relocated from Greeley, CO to Honolulu, HI.  We are here because Zach took a full time position at a church called New Hope Metro.  The Lord opened the doors and spoke to us about taking a HUGE leap of faith alongside some of our closest friends.  We were very torn about the decision but we could not deny that this was the direction He was pointing us in.  So, after what seemed like a long transition, months of preparation, and an emotional good-bye, we are here!  We have officially been "Hawaiians" for a week now.  The kids seem to be adjusting well. They are enjoying the weather and their time at the beach.  Abi has gotten so many compliments on her long locks of hair.  They say she has the perfect hair for hula.  Zeke has been having fun trying all the new and interesting foods.  That boy can eat!

We have literally seen God's blessing throughout this journey and we stand in amazement at God's attention to detail.  From getting us here safely, to buying the exact car to fit our needs within our price range on day one, to the place we will live and the generosity of the church family here, I am AMAZED!  No matter what season you are in, whether it feels like you are on the edge of a new beginning, in the middle of the fog, or toward the end of a season with precise clarity, know that God desires to amaze you.  He is and will always be passionately in love with you.  He longs and yearns for you.  The Lord is not too busy for you, and He is very interested in all the details.  Allow God to be your director, allow Him to be your support in every season.  

Psalm 37:23-24 (Amplified Bible) "The steps of a [good] man are directed and established by the Lord when He delights in his way [and He busies Himself with his every step].  Though he falls, he shall not be utterly cast down, for the Lord grasps his hand in support and upholds him."

Starting over...again

When I think of all the times I've "started over"over the years for the sake of being obedient I can either laugh or cry, both would suffice.  I have always had a kindred spirit with that of Joseph, the biblical character.  I can at times make parallels from his life experiences and life lessons.  Although, I have never been in prison, I've often felt like a prisoner of my thoughts.  Like Joseph, I had a dream at a young age.  I felt a very strong call into ministry at the age of 17, I gave my life to God  and I did what the natural next step was:  I joined Master's Commission.  It's a hybrid, ministry training program and bible college.  

Phase 1: Leaving the nest.  I moved 2,000 miles away from home to Sumter, SC to join the Master's Commission program there.  I had an accelerated ministry experience and dove straight in.  I spent time mentoring youth, organized school assemblies, helped create dances and dramas that explained biblical principles in laymen's terms.  I organized a community outreach to low income families through a sidewalk Sunday school program.  I traveled across 23 states and 2 countries, preaching, teaching and learning the gospel.

Phase 2: After three years in Master's Commission, I became a children's pastor at a church in Denver and enrolled in classes at Denver Metro.  I quickly learned that the two year certificate didn't transfer to any public secular college.  I could either transfer to an expensive Christian College that would accept my transcripts or start over.  I started over.  Ah, little did I know that "starting over" was my new anthem.  I started working full time at bank, was in school full time and also worked for the Church part time.  During this season, I met my future husband Zach.  As soon as we started dating he says, he knew I was going to be his wife.  It wasn't until we'd been engaged for six months that I knew he was going to be my husband.

Phase 3: After getting married, I moved to Greeley, CO.  Moving to Greeley was phase three of "starting over" for me.  I left the comfort of my church, my job, my friends, and my family to start over in Greeley with my new husband.  This season felt very gloomy, it felt like I was wrestling with my new job of being a wife and being in a new place on any given day.

Phase 4: A few years later, at the prompting of the Lord, we sold all of our belongings and moved to Honolulu, HI which makes phase four of "starting over."  We quickly got acclimated to the climate and the culture there.  We made some incredible friends and attended an amazing church but always felt the sense of longing to be in full time ministry.  We got offered a position at a church in Greeley to restart the Master's Commission program and because our heart beat echoed ministry we had to take it.

Phase 5: Back in Colorado, with nothing more than the clothes in our suitcases and the 10 boxes of sentimental items we mailed through the U.S. postal service, we started over.  We worked at this church helping build their young adult program and met some great friends along the way.  After two years of pouring our hearts and souls into this ministry, we got hurt and took a step away from ministry for a few months.   This phase is a dark phase, from what I recall.  It's much like a person who is wounded in battle but has blurred memory as to where the wounds came from.  The further I get from this phase the easier I find it to forgive and forget.

Phase 6: Mosaic.  Our motto, "a church for people who don't really like going to church."  That was us, that was me.  This time starting over wasn't as easy.  After several months of reevaluating and reexamining our hearts and values, we felt safe again.  We took baby steps toward spiritual recovery and  slowly began to trust again.  We weren't as enthusiastic as we once were but still hopeful and grateful for the opportunity.  It seems like the time flew by, and here we are 5 years and three months later overlooking the cliff we are about to jump off in order to "start over" again.

Phase 7: Hawaii again.  Without the details in place of how we arrived at this decision, it's hard to see the impact of how heavily weighed it was.  We've spent the last 5 years helping start and build Mosaic.  We were in the first meeting where we discussed what it would look like to have a church like Mosaic.  Now God is calling us to help build another church that's in it's infancy.  We will be traveling 2,000 miles in the opposite direction for the sake of obedience and I can honestly say, this has been the most difficult move we've ever had to make.  Starting over isn't easier the 7th time.  It really has never been easy, this is why most won't do it.

So, I sit here, with my stubborn submissions to the Lord and the audacity to think that my ways are more precise for my life than His.  I am reminded again of Joseph.  Through his example we can see that starting over is part of living.  We are faced with decisions on a regular basis to start over.  Most times, we think we've chosen this but we are quickly reminded that it is the Lord that is beckoning us to follow his lead of new beginnings.  The thing about Joseph that is so refreshing is that he was able to take his lot in life and start over in any situation.  Even in prison Joseph was acclimated and affirmed.  What makes us think we are any different, If God has given you a dream, it may take years of "starting over" till you see it come to fruition.  Don't let one restart be your last.  The quickest way to death is allowing one diagnosis, one past due notice, one failed test, one failed grade, one setback, to interfere with your new beginning.  "Faith and Fear are very similar.  The difference is Fear paralyzes and Faith causes action! (Paul D. Espinoza)"

This too shall pass

“Mom, wipe my butt!” These are the words that send chills down my spine and create an elongated sigh, followed by a deep breath.  It’s weird, that this is the last trace of potty training or toddler memorabilia lingering in my world these days.  It’s these four small words that can transcend any mood I am in, into an almost comical state of frustration.  It’s a season, they say.  And “they” are right.  It’s a short season, here today and gone tomorrow.

Zekey is my baby, my last child.  That sounds weird when verbalized.  It sounds so final.  After several serious and in depth conversations, Zach and I decided that we were done having children.  I hated pregnancy.  You know how “they” say that pregnant women glow?  Well I think I must have glowed in the dark because being pregnant was more of a “horror story” for me than a “romantic comedy.” I love being a parent, don’t get me wrong.  I love my children more than a fat kid loves carbs!  But we took the necessary “steps”toward finalizing this decision.  There are days when I consider all the pros and cons of childbearing and am content with this decision.  Having said that, there are also days when I see a newborn smiling for the first time or a toddler taking those clumsy first steps when I wonder if we’d made the right decision.   It’s amazing how your heart is transformed the minute you look into your child’s eyes for the first time.  My life has been made complete through my children.  So why is it that I cringe every time I hear the words those four simple words come out of Zekey’s mouth, “MOM,WIPE MY BUTT!”

I can’t remember the last time Abi needed assistance in the restroom.  She’s six years old now and far too sophisticated with her first grade vocabulary and maturity.  To be honest I can’t remember the last time she need help with much of anything.  Now that she’s reading, spelling, adding and subtracting, she seems to have it all figured out.   In fact, I can probably come to her instead of spell check and she could teach me a thing or two.  I get sad when I think about how gradual this independence happened, it seems to have snuck up on me.  It was like one day she’s asking for help and the next she’s explaining to me how ‘I comes before E accept after C.’

Abi lost her first tooth and she was one of the last if not the last in her first grade class to experience this epic phenomenon.  I can remember countless conversations during
her kindergarten year, usually after kids started losing teeth, she’d cry and ask me when it was going to be her turn to lose a tooth.  I’d smile and say, “It’ll happen sweetie … in God’s time.”  That was my fancy way of saying “I don’t know.”  Expert advice, I know, you can thank me later.  So the day came, it finally arrived when her first lose tooth surfaced.  I was a momentous day in the Bumgrabber household.  We celebrated with the sticker song, which we used to sing to her after she’d make poo-poo or pee-pee in the potty during potty training.  A few weeks later, it was time.  The moment she’d been waiting for since her kindergarten year was here.  Her tooth was finally loose enough to pullout.  We invited Lala (her grandmother)over and gathered around the table to watch the spectacle.  She was ready, she was excited, and she was prepared to pull it out herself.  There was no backing out.  It was on.  We counted to 3 and she pulled a few times but decided that Daddy’s help was necessary. He pulled on it once and it came shooting out.  Shocked and excited, we celebrated this milestone with her!  God’s time finally came! 

That night, we, I mean “the tooth fairy” paid her a visit.  She made $3 in quarters, just enough for a load of laundry at the Laundromat. Yes I know we, I mean “the tooth fairy” is a bit of a cheapskate.  “The tooth fairy” is also broke, okay people,don’t judge.  The next morning, Abi stormed into our room upset and crying. She explained how “the tooth fairy” took her tooth and left her money.  She explained how she’d waited so long to lose her first tooth and it wasn’t fair that “the tooth fairy” took her tooth.  Then she added, “Tell me the truth…was it Daddy?” This is a moment when a parenting manual would have been useful.  What do you say to a child?  I tried to answer without smiling, “well…um.What do you think?”  She said, “I don’t think fairies are real.”  Wow, okay so family meeting time…what do you do in this situation.  I said what any responsible parent would say,“Ask your daddy.”  After having “the talk”or at least the first talk of many, Zach and I found out that not only was the tooth fairy a kid’s parents sneaking into their room at night to give them money after losing a tooth, Santa Clause was also their parents and the Easter bunny was just some guy in a bunny suit. To our dismay, Abi figured all of this out doing her own research at school.    

I say all this because I know that ONE day I will no longer hear those 4 words seeping through the cracks of the bathroom door.  “Mom, wipe my butt!”  So I will take the advice that “they” give and concede to enjoy this season because like all the ones before it... this season will pass in God's time!  

Ecclesiastes 3:1 'For everything there is a season,

    a time for every activity under heaven.'

Stop being strong

“Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength (Philippians 4:11-13).”

 

Many motivational posters, professional athletes or pastors have quoted this scripture to the point of it being a cliché.  Is it that God gives supernatural strength to Christian athletes because they are part of an elite group of people?  Could it be that perhaps these posters are like fortune cookies intended to give vague messages of hope to the masses?  Now that I’ve covered all the bases on basic “Christian-ese” overused expressions derived from this scripture.  I am going to take a look at the context of the scripture, which is generally a good place to start in understanding what it means.  

Paul was speaking to the church about their concerns for him.  I am sure by this time they had gotten wind of the various persecutions he had encountered in his missions.  His timing and reasons for the letter served as an encouragement to the church, not to worry, and to assure them that He was okay.  He was saying ‘look, I appreciate your concern, I understand how difficult it can be to trust in God at times but I know, that I know, that I know that God is with me.  Whether I have little or plenty, whether I am hungry or starving, whether I suffer or I flourish, I can do ALL these things through Christ because of His strength.’  (This is my paraphrase of course).  As we look at the heart of what Paul is trying to communicate to the church, we can see that he has found the secret to being content is found in God’s strength.  Paul was content in God’s ability to be greater than his current situation.  He recognized that apart from God, he could do nothing but with Christ nothing was impossible.

We learn three things form this scripture:

1. Life is hard.

I’d like to think of myself as a very independent woman most days.  I feel that my life experiences have prepositioned me to be this way.  Perhaps my rough upbringing, my personal disappointments, my educational and ministry setbacks have caused me to be somewhat of a fighter.  I think I’ve spent the majority of my life fighting.  I’ve fought for everything I have, and still find myself fighting.

A lady from the church approached me this week and asked me to pray for her friend who got into a severe accident and lost her husband of 30 years.  My eyes welled up with tears because I cannot imagine what this woman is going through.  I do not know what I’d do without my husband.  He’s my best friend who I can simultaneously love and be annoyed with.  He completes me and makes me a better person.  He drives me crazy with love and with frustration!  Yet I would be devastated if anything ever happened to him.  I’d be lost at the thought of doing life without him by my side. 

2. Stop being Strong.

A few weeks ago, my husband went down to Sturgis, SD to get into his first MMA fight.  If you’ve ever met Zach, you might agree with me, that he’s more of a “lover” than a “fighter” by design.  He is such a caring and compassionate man.  I am constantly encouraged to see the good in others through his lead.  When he first talked to me about doing this MMA thing, I have to admit my initial response was, “no!”  After several months of arguing about the issue, I asked him why he’d wanted to do it in the first place.  He had never been in a “real fight” before and he wanted to prove to himself that he could do it.  It was more of a bucket list item he desperately wanted to check off.  My reaction was, “hey, if you want to fight, let’s go to the parking lot right now, I’ll take off my chanklas (Spanish slang for flip flops), put my hair in a ponytail and we can do this thing!”  All joking aside, I could not understand what this meant to him.

When he left to Sturgis for the fight, I was worried.  I didn’t want him to get hurt.  I wanted so badly to talk him out of this wild idea.  I grew up watching violence.  I saw the negative effects of an abusive relationship between my parents.  I thought of all the fights I’d seen my brothers get in.  I remember a few of the neighborhood fights I’d been in.  I think for a minute I was brought back to my childhood, and faced with the issues that I’d had with fighting.  Stepping outside of my perspective and considering his reasons for wanting to fight.  I knew that it was different.  This was something that Zach needed to prove to himself.  He has always been the “peacemaker” in his family.  He’s always been the one to see both sides of a story and to think logically through a situation.  Taking that step back helped me appreciate his perspective even if I wasn’t completely comfortable with it. 

Where are we drawing our strength from?  I could see how I wasn’t fully trusting my husband’s judgment and I could see how this idea was negatively impacting me.  Many times our spiritual life mirrors the physical.  I had a hard time trusting God with my most prized possession.  Instead of finding strength in Christ I was trying to be the “strong one.” The key to being content in any situation whether it’s good, bad or ugly, is to draw our strength from Christ.  Maybe the very reason you feel weak is because God is asking you to “stop being strong.” 

 

3. Trust in Jesus.   

Getting back to the scripture, I can see how God has been working on my heart with the idea of trust. Part of me trusting in God with Zach fighting was for me to “stop fighting.”  I was reminded of one of my favorite proverbs, 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.  Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Where are we drawing our strength from?  The key to happiness is to lean on Him.  You can see God’s voice transcend throughout the old and new testament about this idea of trust.  The idea that His ways are better than ours, His understanding is greater than ours.  I believe He’s saying the same thing to us today.  Life is Hard, Stop being Strong, and Trust in Jesus.