Good enough

Have you ever wandered through life wondering if what you're doing and how you're being assessed by the world around you is "good enough."  Is the report card passing?  Are you in the clear with your bank account?  Do you have enough supplies to complete the job?  So many questions floating in your head, yet the bottom line is you wonder if JUST being you, is enough.

I've been fascinated with this word lately.  JUST.  It's a very interesting adverb that has so many meanings in the English language.  Many times we can use this word as a bullet to hurt others.  I cannot count the amount of times when I've heard, "oh so you're JUST a stay at home mom."  Really?  Really.  I've worked corporate jobs and have traveled the world, but one of the most difficult things I've ever done was be a stay at home mom.  Becoming a mommy was one of the proudest and most vulnerable things I've ever done.  Like many moms I can still remember the moment I looked into my child's face and immediately fell in love.  No matter how prepared you are leading up to that moment, you are never entirely prepared for how drastically and suddenly your life will change.  I've been thinking a lot about how this happens, as you read through the books and try to figure out "what to expect when you're expecting" you realize that some of the things you experience in those first few moments are not at all like anything you could ever expect or imagine.

The nature of watching your child grow is a process that happens so gradually yet it can take you by surprise to see them take their first step, sprout their first tooth, speak their first word, march off to school for the first time, loose their first tooth, or experience their first heartbreak.  All of these things are a part of growing up, as mundane as they may become with repetition, they are all part of the process.  Some days I can look at my kids and notice something different about them, like their hair has grown or their pants are suddenly too tight.  I can look at the same child through pictures and see the various stages from infancy to toddler, to school kid.  But when I am looking at them everyday, it is harder to notice that they are changing.

I think the same is true in our walk with God, we can look at snapshots of our lives and see that we are not the same person we once were.  We can see practically how we've grown over time through the various stages and phases of life.  Sometimes it is hard to see ourselves changing everyday, or getting stronger by reading our word and praying.  We cannot see the spiritual muscles being formed by the mundane tasks we complete in an effort to be obedient.  All we see in the moment is the process of the JUST.  Every once in a while we are enlightened by the highlight of "firsts."  Accepting Christ, being baptized, the word coming alive as we read it, the faith built through prayers answered, or the joy of leading others to Christ.  But most days we are JUST growing gradually.  We are JUST being obedient.  We are JUST reading our daily devotions.  We are JUST praying as a spiritual practice and maybe not a completely heartfelt submission.  We fail to celebrate the JUST.  By downplaying these spiritual disciplines, we discount the work that's being done, the progress that's being made and the growth that's happening on a daily basis.  Instead of classifying the JUST as plain, we should be celebrating the JUST things of the world.  After all, God uses the foolish things of the world to confound the wise.  So JUST being you, is good enough! 

Lost

Have you ever felt lost?  Like uncertain of where you are going and what you're doing in life?  Perhaps you've been lost literally.  There's a store in Hawaii, Don Quijote, it's kind of like the "Japanese Walmart."  It has everything you could ever need.  It's a one-stop Asian mart, complete with bilingual signage and pricing.  The color scheme is a bright yellow and red.  It's kind of hard to miss.

Upon moving to Hawaii, I've experienced a bit of a pricing culture shock.  It took me a few Sunday papers to get acclimated to the idea of spending $5.99 on a gallon of milk (sale price).  Sure, Colorado is the land flowing with milk and honey, okay just milk.  By milk, I mean Greeley is literally surrounded by cows.  Great for the economy, maybe not so much for the aroma.  So, a gallon of milk on sale is $1.97.  As you can imagine, this did't settle well with my pocketbook nor my frugal ways.  So, my first trip to Don Quijote, wasn't exactly a bright and liberating experience.  The only thing bright about this experience was the sign.  After walking through the souvenir department and bypassing a commercial for a rice cooker in Japanese with English subtitles, I felt lost.  I felt like I'd made a mistake by going there in the first place.  As I scrambled to get through my shopping list, I couldn't help but think, what am I doing here.  I should stick to stores I know. I felt the enemy whisper malicious lies into my ear and like an echo, I verbalized them internally. Things like, I don't belong, and I should go back where I came from.

The week prior to this trip, Abi asked to take spam musubi to school for lunch.  She'd been taking sandwiches and lunchables but noticed that all the other kids had musubi.  She came home expressing an interest in taking musubi for her lunch like many of the other children.  I didn't want to discourage her, so we put spam musubi on the list.  So, here we are in the seaweed isle, looking at an array of dried seaweed packages in Japanese.  I felt lost.  Apparently, my feelings were conveyed through the look on my face and my body language because a very kind older Asian woman, asked me if I was in fact lost.  She said, "You look like you could use some help."  Really, I thought, 'it's that obvious huh?'  She went on to explain that it'd been years since she made musubi for her children but her grandchildren loved it. As she pointed me to the right package, I thought, 'it's just like God to send help especially when we're not expecting it.'  After I thanked her, I completed my trip and scurried over to the checkout.

Although this experience made me feel lost at first, I was reminded that even if I do not know the way, God is leading, guiding and directing my steps.  He has sent people along the path to encourage, help and befriend me.  I have to fight past the feelings and insecurities to walk in his freedom.  The same is true for us all, because God doesn't show favoritism. We know that He doesn't always show us a clear cut path or make situations comfortable for us, but He will place people in our path for a purpose.  Many times, we cannot understand the reasons why until the moment has passed.  Sometimes, it's to encourage us, sometimes it's to help us, sometimes it's to provide comfort, sometimes it's to correct us, sometimes it's to teach us, but the underlined reason is because God loves us.  Take time today to notice how God is watching out for you.  You may feel lost, but His overwhelming grace will help you find the way.  You may feel uncertain of what the future holds, but when you look to Him, you will find the peace that surpasses understanding.